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Supreme Commander EagleRock here, Chief Barracks Officer of the Elite Guard Barracks. That's right, soldiers! Get out on that Portal! Pick up your Blam Rifles and get to the front lines! Protect the Portal with all you got! Newgrounds needs YOU! Hooah!

Peter Marks @EagleRock

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William Paterson University

Fair Lawn, NJ

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OMG iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone

Posted by EagleRock - September 12th, 2007


So, yeah, let's say "damn you" to Apple for making me want to part with my money so badly...

I know that many people have apprehension towards the iPhone, but there are few devices out there today that can truly rival the iPhone in the "wow" factor. Not that I'm one that has to have the "coolest and hippest" devices, but let's face it...we all need a phone. Everyone I know (even my mother) carries around a cell phone with them wherever they go. In this day in age, especially where I live, you're dead without a phone. Hell, let's think about how many cell phones are around the Tri-State area ALONE...

Sheesh. Now, let's take another perspective about this: how many people actually love their phones? It's not uncommon to have a conversation change to cell phones. Everyone whips out their phones and displays them, comparing them as if they were comparing the size of their penises (except for women...I have a feeling the size of their labias aren't exactly exciting conversation, nor a point of pride). Anyway, people like to talk about their phones, good and bad.

However, how many people actually like them? Every time I talk to someone about their phone, they whip it out, and they show it off. Every time I will ask them, "So, you really like your phone, eh?" They almost unequivocally say, "Oh, no, it sucks." They'll have plenty of pluses to state about the phone, but ultimately it boils down to general discontent with their phone. Sure, people get new phones, and they'll love it for a few weeks, but after all is said and done, they are just "meh" with their phone and don't give two shits. It just fades back into obscurity and becomes another necessary device, not something they love to have around. Sure, this isn't true with everyone, but it's rare to find someone that truly loves the phone.

There are plenty of things the iPhone is NOT. The iPhone is NOT a spec-lover's dream. The absence of a removable battery, lack of HSDPA (3G data speeds), lockdown to AT&T networks, and the lack of a physical keyboard are all detriments to the iPhone and are breaking points for many. I've seen plenty of people complain that there are phones that do more than the iPhone for less of a price. Sure there are. But that is NOT what the iPhone is. Co-workers have compared Verizon's XW6700 Smartphone complete with Windows Mobile 5.0 is a much better phone than the iPhone, as the screen is comparable, the data network is much faster, and the keyboard is awesome. Of course, the phone is about an inch thick and is heavy as hell. Co-workers with this phone have also complained about how thick the phone is, how large the antenna is, and how Windows Mobile sucks a lot. Of course this phone is the exact same price as the iPhone SUBSIDIZED. See? I don't care how much you think you love your phone, you'll find something to hate about it with a passion.

Enter the iPhone. The thing the iPhone does differently is that it does not concentrate on processor speed, data transfer capabilities, or general bragging rights that can be compiled in a spreadsheet. Instead, the phone is a plain pleasure to use up and down, no matter what. People that have criticized this phone up and down (like me) were doing so because of the specs, but once they got ahold of it (like me), they wanted one. Why? The phone is just amazing, and it has that "wow" factor that no mobile device has had before. Even the RAZR doesn't compare, as its only amazing feature was its thinness. Hell, it was copied by many not long after (such as the sync, the crazer, etc.) The iPhone, meanwhile, is not only a fun telephone, but a great iPod, a phenominal web browser, and just a beautiful little piece of eye candy to boot.

So yes, I love the iPhone, and I love it because of one simple thing: NO phone can do EVERYTHING right. There are too many opinions, too many needs, and too many people to please. One person may like one phone, but 10 will hate it. This is why we don't have one phone on the market. Every phone is easy to dislike, despite what it does right. The thing that sets the iPhone apart, however, is that it is the opposite. Simply said, it is a phone that is easy to like, despite what it does wrong.

So yeah...here I am, pining for a phone I can't readily afford...that is, until my wife brought up the greatest idea in the planet: ask for it for Christmas. Now, I've had my eyes set out for a new espresso machine (so I can make espresso that's actually good), but I could ask for the iPhone instead...and receive it in DECEMBER. Thanks to the parents, however, they said they'd buy it for me! Wow! Amazing! I could get it now! BUT...here it is, a $600 phone that is just way too much money to ask for. Hell, I would feel wrong just asking for it. So, I'm screwed.

Then our buddy Jobs decides to cut the price by a cool $200! Not a bad price now, as $400 is better, but still too much to ask for. Also, I was kind of hoping my workplace would get me a phone for e-mail. However, something ELSE happens...my friend decides to apply for a job at Apple! Now we're talking about a 15% price discount, bringing the phone to $340! Looks better than $600 for sure.

I also decide to say "fuck it" and get the phone anyway, as dealing with Microsoft Exchange on this thing is a fucking fright. I'd much rather have my gmail account on there anyway, and I wouldn't mind carrying around a Blackberry for work. So now I am within asking distance for two people to give me as a present, and all is well.

Problem is, my friend is not getting a callback for the job, and I'm stuck here waiting to find out when I can get the phone. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday roll by as he doesn't hear anything. I finally decide, with my parents' consent (well, they're the ones buying the thing) that I'll get the phone for $400 anyway if my friend doesn't get the job. Hell, I can even try to go for the academic discount, as I still have my student ID...

So here I am, possibly only a few hours away from actually getting the iPhone, and my friend calls. Apparently he got a callback from the guy, and he's going to go in on Friday to find out where he's going to get deployed. Great. NOW, I can't get the phone today, and I don't even know when I'll be able to get it. It could be 7 months from now for all I know at this rate. As you can tell, I am not one of the patient nature. Especially when it comes to new toys.

So, I'll be able to know on Friday when I am getting the iPhone. If my friend won't be able to get me the phone for over a few weeks, hell, I'll just get it on Friday. If it's sooner, then I have to wait until he can get me the discount. EITHER WAY, I have to wait. Blah. And to think that if he didn't get the job, I'd be at the Apple Store RIGHT NOW in Garden State Plaza checking out my brand new iPhone. GRR.

Oh well. Until then, I guess I have to pretend like I have one:

OMG iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone


Comments

nice!

I thought finding nemo was on that iphone screen at first.

Hehe...that's one of the default wallpapers. You have to wonder how I took that picture, considering I don't have my iPhone yet, and neither does any of my friends...

if you used photoshop to do that THEN THATS AMAZING!!!

Yeah, right! Like I'm THAT good...

Okay, I'll give. I was being a sneaky bastard with this site:

http://sneakmove.com/2007/01/diy-
cut-and-fold-paper-iphone.html

So yeah, that picture is unaltered. Note how I conveniently hide the corners so you can't see the box edges. You CAN see it if you look at the iPhone's bottom right edge. Word is I might get it tonight, though, so I have to see.